Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Things My Upstairs Neighbors Must Have Recently Acquired

-Bowling lane.
-Half-dozen semi-retired Irish step dancers.
-Carpenter stilts for a two-year old insomniac.
-Visit from the Harlem Globetrotters.
-Sack of Anvils.
-Night School of Continuing Education for Overweight Men Majoring in Jackhammering.
-Living-room parking spaces for earth-moving machines.
-Semi-precious stone quarry.
-French Hotchkiss H-39 tank.
-New dumb insults which you scream at your wife in other languages.
-Large heavy objects that want to crash to the floor over and over.
-Even heavier objects that you thought couldn't get any heavier.


your mom said...

Things My Single Thirty-Something Male Neighbor Recently Acquired:

-Dilapidated pick-up truck to exhibit in the driveway
-Said truck came loaded with equally dilapidated furniture belonging to
-New STSM, bringing the total to somewhere between 3-7 STSMs residing in the home
-Another shaggy dog of indeterminate heritage
-Two savagely used former cars with various tires missing
-Intense garage illumination to enhance late night mechanic work
-Girlfriend with intact sporty auto

Things I Wish My Neighbor Would Acquire:

-Exterior Paint

David said...

Sack of anvils is my favorite. Where can you buy them other than Wal-Mart? I won't shop there.