What happens now is, apparently, you begin to separate the people who know from the people who don't. For example, I'm standing in line at the bank today and I realize that the people in front of me, and all the nice ladies behind the counter, have no idea that what I'm thinking about at that moment is Meg Meg Meg, all the time, without stopping.
Obviously, everyone in the line at the bank today is suffering through their own lives as well -- maybe divorces, or cancers, or drug additions, or what have you. And I suppose what hit me hard today is just how alone you are when something like this happens. People tell you to lean on your family and talk to your friends. But what it all comes down to is what you do with the mechanics of your own mind.
And I can stand in rooms and in fields hugging people who knew her, and who know best what I'm going through. But all we can do is look each other in the eye, and wish one another the best of luck.