Thursday, March 08, 2007

Open Letters, Vol. 4

Dear Gays, or anyone else otherwise uninclined to talk sports,

It's actually very easy to talk sports. For example, with strangers at the bodega, or your doorman, or whomever might engage you in such boring conversation. Here are some tips for how to get through it without embarrasing errors.

1) Ask a lot of rhetorical questions. If someone says to you, "Did you see the game last night?" you can just say something like "Man, can you believe that?" or "What was he thinking?"

2) Make sweeping, general statements about the future of sports: "Bah, I give up on the whole thing!"

3) Appear nostalgic for the past: "Nobody's playing like they used to."

Yours truly,


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